The Edge of the Ledge is dark today, gray storm clouds are crowding the horizon and blocking out the Sun. The shadows from the surrounding mountains are bought into stark relief against this moody backdrop. As I warm my hands in front of my small fire, here in my little cave on the ledges edge, I get a chill of foreboding and woe. Peering out into the dreary sky, I realize that the chill is a familiar feeling that never quite goes away, it merely recedes from time to time in order to assert itself anew and remind me of my mortality. I wonder…
Is it just me or is anyone else starting to feel like Neyo when he began sensing something was off, before he found out it was much more than just a feeling? For the last few years on and off (lately more on than off), I’ve been feeling that things are not quite right deep down in the psyche of humanity, like something is just really wrong on so many levels. So much is askew everywhere you look, with just about everything you hear about. Ridiculous situations caused by irrational humans are happening at warp speed. The illogical and the irresponsible seem to rule the day. What is happening here???
Common sense is anything but common it seems. I don’t really know any of my neighbors and they more likely than not, don’t know each other either. Trust has become unusual. I rarely see people talking over their hedges or even sitting outside of their homes much anymore. It appears that people are becoming digital copies of themselves and some are more present as their electronic selves than they are as their flesh and blood selves. It’s starting to feel like no one is “real” anymore.
I will admit that I have a tendency to be a bit dark and broody, but it just feels like there is a weird and tragic pall over life in general these days. Even my bouts of depression can’t explain away this hovering sense of impending doom that creeps into my awareness at the oddest moments. When I look out my living room windows, the day may be beautiful with a cheeky breeze tinkling the chimes, the birds can be chirping and exchanging greetings and the flowers nodding and blooming…but there is this small extra bite in the air, this gauzy film that permeates it all and leaves a sour taste in my mouth and a tremor of fear in my soul. It is like a dirty little smudge on an otherwise pristine scene.
Of late, I have begun to imagine that I am an incidental guest at the Cosmic Tea Table and at any moment I will hear a small hysterical giggle from the painted lady to my left who just happens to be bat-sh*t crazy. That maniacal little giggle will be the proof of what I have been saying. I will know beyond any doubt that this world was just a wild experiment gone horribly wrong and unfortunately, all the beautiful things, the wonderful stuff and the inhabitants who were awesome will be lost to its inevitable destruction, right along with all those horrid, ugly, disgusting things that caused it to fail in the first place.
I wake up everyday hoping that I am wrong, that I am just cynical and a bit too taken with the macabre. But until such time as I am proven wrong and convinced otherwise (by some impossible miracle) I will remain on my guard, diligently watching the Tea Table for signs of the massive upheaval that is building, waiting for the dimensional fabric to finally rip away, showing us to ourselves, revealing the beasts we have always been.
~There is no animal more threatening to itself and all other life than the Human animal.
-Ahsiam the Goddess