As I scooted to the Edge of the Ledge today, I noticed a peculiarly tangy scent in the air. I sniffed about up and down, turned to the left and then to the right. As I leaned even further out I caught sight of a conference cloud floating by. The marquee announced that there was a women only symposium being held on Sex. The next speaking theme was called “SEX: An Open Letter to Our Male Counterparts!” This appealed to me and seemed like it would be interesting to drop in on. So as the conference cloud floated directly beneath me, trailing its tangy sexy smell, I cannon balled down in a free-fall and landed in a cloudy heap right smack in the back of a gathering of beautiful women from every walk of life it seemed. I made myself comfortable there on the cloudy floor behind the audience and settled in to listen. Just then a gorgeous and statuesque lady walked to the podium. It was the world renowned scholar, philosopher and sex guru extraordinaire Ms. Fee Fee La’Bon, known for her raw delivery and no nonsense honesty! Wow, I knew I was in for an interesting treat indeed! As the conference cloud floated gently on and the sun shone beautifully down on the gathered assemblage, this is what I witnessed….

Ms. La’Bon clears her throat and looks around at all the ladies. She gives a wickedly sweet smile then bellows;

(Everyone flinches)

Yeeeeessssss, she drawled, I want it, need it and love it just about as much as men do, but it has to be right! It has to be fair and it has to be a mutual giving Sirs and madams. Why should we women compromise our worth to satisfy your paltry desires to fornicate, to have your way with our Sacred Femininity? Why? Why should we do that? Why should we make you a priority if we are only going to be an option or an afterthought?

NO, NO and NO! I for one am good, I’d rather just do me, literally (she nods towards the table to her right, that is overflowing with sex toys of every variety, laughter ensues) until that Real one shows up, my rhythmic match, my chemical balance…& I’m not mad either, I just know my worth and I know that you don’t Sir…it’s cool, no worries, do you boo, but please stop acting like your attention is all that, because really, it ain’t, isn’t, is Not!…

I know what it really is, I’ve played the game before and I’m familiar with the board… So no need to pretend it’s something other than what we both know it truly to be… We don’t have to rush into a false and/or irrational commitment, I don’t wanna marry you, move in with you or run your life, but let’s be real on what we are getting into…

(Speaker La’Bon squares her shoulders and taps podium)

Listen, when you know damn well that I won’t be the only one you’re screwin’, then you better damn well also know that your ass is gonna wear a condom…or two! Period! And NO, you CANNOT just put the tip in either dumb ass!!

(Appreciative laughter from assemblage)

I’m really starting to see why some women make u guys pay for it…because often, what you give is rarely satisfying, nor does it last…So if u really expect me to give you my most Precious Commodity, the very Essence of my Life Force, just so you can toss it out over an overpass like a balled up bag of fast food remnants, then yes, you should F*ckin’ pay up!

(Shocked laughter, sprinkled generously throughout the crowd, coupled with mild gasping and sharp intakes of breath)

Yeah, I said it! Those few minutes of so-so sex & fleeting desire just aren’t enough when you are left feeling used and wondering if his ass will come back around for more than just the physical stuff…

(Collective nodding of heads and murmurs of assent from gathering)

We lie to ourselves and other people all the time to get what we want… I told my last lover, look, What I want is deeper and realer than what you can give buddy, so make it worth my while and leave me with more than a swollen Yonni and sweated out hair that wasn’t the result of multiple orgasms, but the work of your reeky sweat…

(Crowd Twitters with glee)

I told him straight up, No hun, all that “wetness” wasn’t from me, in fact, none of it was!! You are a chronic sex sweater, so just own that!

(Uproarious laughter from all in attendance as speaker smiles and nods)

Look guys, no thanks, I’m just not in the market for any ‘ShoddyShoddyBangBang’, ‘kay? I’ll just keep my Yummy Goodies to myself. Except for those times I wanna give my Pu**y a party, (gotta do that every now and then to keep out the cobwebs!)… Thank the Goddess for batteries and Hypo-allergenic silicone! Although they can’t replace the warmth and strength of a “real man”, at least they wont tell you lies and leave you questioning your own sanity and self worth…

And No, I don’t want your work check or expect you to waste money on wining and dining…I want the pressure to be off, that’s what I want, for both of us… let’s cut to the chase, we both know if it’s not lookin’ like love is in the cards then there’s not much left to do but get naked or…not. We can always walk away, that’s an option as well.

A lot of guys are going around touting that worn out, “let’s be friends” line. Okay cool, but realistically it’s just a precursor to the inevitable, SEX…And I luv SEX, it’s F*ckin’ Magical, but guess what? It’s also the most intimate thing you can do with another person, so you better make sure that the person you choose to get busy with is worth it! That’s imperative ladies!

Make ’em earn it one way or another ladies, tell them straight out what would make it worth your time. Just say it! ‘I want you to give me those things that I think are worth me laying with you and in return you will get what you want’…

There are fabulous bonuses for both parties here…Fair exchange is no robbery and it ain’t nobodies business other than the parties concerned…call it what u will, but I’m being real, it’s MY OWN P.O.V……I’m not preaching, just speaking from my base Chakra, Ha! But it’s raw honesty, the stuff that’s up underneath all the glittery, sugary bullsh*t we pile on top of it and call truth. The established “rules” are a fairytale chock full of false decency and misplaced morals.

Humor me my friends, I mean no harm or insult…

It’s just that sometimes my sensibilities get insulted when I’m approached with whack bulls*it masquerading as genuine interest…Please fellas, knock that sh*t off! If u KNOW U are not in a position to be fully present and available to build something, then keep it moving! Or at the very least be honest about your intentions and expectations!

Oh, you just wanna hit it, maybe a few times? OK, say that, then let me decide if I want to oblige you… Yea, we can communicate and share some sh*ts and giggles, but don’t expect more than you’re willing to give…
You might say, “Well F*ck u then, it’s plenty women out here”…Cool, then go chase their asses and get the F*ck outta my face and space!…I luv Men, but sometimes the f*ckery is just too much…

(Strong laughter, Amen’s and a few hallelujahs)

I strongly believe in the edict, DO AS YE WILL, BUT HARM NONE….’Nuff said right?…Yet it’s never so black and white is it? Damn, it’s hard being a Woman these days…Granted, trying to navigate around life’s sexual pitfalls and general disappointments can be tricky as hell for both sexes…But, as ladies, we must be diligent in owning our feminine sexuality and all that goes along with it. It is powerful and when you harness it’s strength, you will realize that it is so much more than just a physical power! It is emotional, it is metaphysical and it is Cosmic!!!

(Foot stomping applause and waving arms, a spattering of bottoms out of seats….Speaker looks around nodding in acknowledgment, waits for calm to resume)

*Sigh* I’m just ranting a lil bit y’all and I’ll be the first to admit that my views are a tad more than just unconventional and in some unfriendly circles they’re considered downright tawdry! (Crowd laughs) Yet, at the end of the day I am still a woman, a sensual and exotic creature with erotic imaginings and passions that run deep….Just a ball of conflicting desires, no set direction, just rolling…many of you can most likely relate.

(I could almost swear her eyes literally twinkled…)

But never again will I compromise my dignity for fleeting satisfaction… When I give myself it will be because I think he is worth it, not because he flattered me or told me a bunch of pretty lies…. My giving will be matched as a result of stating the truth from the get go, right out the gate, because who has time to dawdle with fallacy?

In closing, I only ask you to consider your worth and your desires. Then think on the energy you wish to expend utilizing your worth and fulfilling those desires…

(speaker looks slowly across the room, tilts her head to one side and says…)

The value of something is an individual concept, so what do you truly value and what will you give in exchange for it?

(Thundering applause and a full standing ovation from the audience, myself included)

~As Purple leaves and Golden glitter rained down I dashed out into the shimmery lobby and grabbed a handful of juicy ambrosia grapes that hung about in abundance…Mmmmm…
Now if I could just find a Wind Taxi to take me back to my ledge so that I could sit quietly and ponder upon what I’d heard…


This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTown

dw by spraycan2


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