Greetings… From the Edge of The Ledge

Dangling my legs over the Edge as I sit here on the Ledge, my mind wanders back to a time when nothing felt secure and life was anything but certain. A time when concrete felt more like quicksand and Joy was a shameless tease.
This is what I see as I zoom in on a moment…

“That” {Feeling}…

Here I am again, so sure I’m on the verge of Something! Convinced that My Life is about to Change. I just need to Recognize It when It comes and Hop on. I’ll have to hang on for dear life because It may buck about and not appear to be, what It is initially…But that’s okay, I’ll just clamp down, take the ride and do what comes naturally. I’ll keep my eyes peeled and my ankles locked in place as I continue to live and pursue this Esoteric knowledge in all its Blissful forms. And this I will do. No doubt. Sh*t, what do I really have to lose? Heard a rumor that God said I don’t have a damn thing to be fearful about. Even if I find it hard to shake loose the ass numbing stagnation that attempts from time to time to take over. Hope God is right, because it’s those times that are the hardest, and most frequent. But I vow to change this reality into some sh*t I can work with. I have to do this and Succeed because It’s the Realest thing I have on bad days.

Maybe I don’t see it all the time, or recognize it for what it is, this coming Change, but I know it’s real. I know somewhere down in the Deeps of Me, that Everything I ever Wanted or Dreamed about is Already Mine and has Already happened (In one dimension or another *wink*). I know I’m sitting here in this house on the corner of Pity Ave and Misery Street. But I choose to believe that I’m in a bungalow near a Uniquely Exotic and Lush Beach… I close my eyes and can feel the Cool Ocean Breeze bashfully Caressing my shoulders as it Dances through gauzy white curtains framing the deck to my back. The gentle tinkling of the porch chimes transports me to this other place, a place with a tangible hint of Delicious Mystery and Excitement about it. Where, if I but Desired a small or over the top Adventure, it was to be had with a mere turn of the corner…

That was over 10 years ago, and the crazy and miraculous thing is, it came true! I am living the Dream, minus a few Bells and Whistles… Yes, a few bumpy and calamitous years later it really has happened…

This Life I now live is what lay just over the Horizon, yet it was at once all around me as well. It has been in every step I’ve taken, every Breath I have breathed. This Delightful realization has Excited me, Quickened my Spirit. My spine is tingling…really, Tingling. And even now, my mouth literally Waters in Anticipation of what is yet to come. Frequently and at odd moments I am overcome with a Strong Desire to do many Yummy and Wondrous things all at once…

I want to write an Erotic romp. Witness the Birth of a new Star.
Play Hide and Seek in the Clouds with an Amour. Have a Long Cold drink of Clear Creek Water.
Fall Weightlessly through Space. Ride a Fleeing Horse through a Prairie at Sunset, just before a Storm.
Make Spoons with my “not so little anymore” Tee-tee, Smelling the Sweetness from Her Soft Hair.
I Wish to do All these things and more. Simultaneously. When that Feeling comes, I want to hold onto it Forever, never to Feel any other way…

Mmmmmm….Soul Satisfying…

Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll start Holding on to that feeling Today. Holding Tightly. Never fully releasing the Feeling, even when unhappiness forces itself into my life and sits down at my table. I will serve it the dredges of my nightmares, let it drink the bitterness of my tears. And I, I will simply sit down with it and make a meal of That Feeling.

~Because sometimes unhappiness will come and stay awhile, and one just has to deal. Hold onto the exaltation of Good Feelings; they will be as an ambrosia in the company of unhappiness~MN

This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTownmonterey14

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3 thoughts on “Greetings… From the Edge of The Ledge

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