GREETINGS…FROM THE EDGE OF THE LEDGE…

Broody Mood

The Edge of the Ledge is dark today, gray storm clouds are crowding the horizon and blocking out the Sun. The shadows from the surrounding mountains are bought into stark relief against this moody backdrop. As I warm my hands in front of my small fire, here in my little cave on the ledges edge, I get a chill of foreboding and woe. Peering out into the dreary sky, I realize that the chill is a familiar feeling that never quite goes away, it merely recedes from time to time in order to assert itself anew and remind me of my mortality. I wonder…

Is it just me or is anyone else starting to feel like Neyo when he began sensing something was off, before he found out it was much more than just a feeling? For the last few years on and off (lately more on than off), I’ve been feeling that things are not quite right deep down in the psyche of humanity, like something is just really wrong on so many levels. So much is askew everywhere you look, with just about everything you hear about. Ridiculous situations caused by irrational humans are happening at warp speed. The illogical and the irresponsible seem to rule the day. What is happening here???

Common sense is anything but common it seems. I don’t really know any of my neighbors and they more likely than not, don’t know each other either. Trust has become unusual. I rarely see people talking over their hedges or even sitting outside of their homes much anymore. It appears that people are becoming digital copies of themselves and some are more present as their electronic selves than they are as their flesh and blood selves. It’s starting to feel like no one is “real” anymore.

I will admit that I have a tendency to be a bit dark and broody, but it just feels like there is a weird and tragic pall over life in general these days. Even my bouts of depression can’t explain away this hovering sense of impending doom that creeps into my awareness at the oddest moments. When I look out my living room windows, the day may be beautiful with a cheeky breeze tinkling the chimes, the birds can be chirping and exchanging greetings and the flowers nodding and blooming…but there is this small extra bite in the air, this gauzy film that permeates it all and leaves a sour taste in my mouth and a tremor of fear in my soul. It is like a dirty little smudge on an otherwise pristine scene.

Of late, I have begun to imagine that I am an incidental guest at the Cosmic Tea Table and at any moment I will hear a small hysterical giggle from the painted lady to my left who just happens to be bat-sh*t crazy. That maniacal little giggle will be the proof of what I have been saying. I will know beyond any doubt that this world was just a wild experiment gone horribly wrong and unfortunately, all the beautiful things, the wonderful stuff and the inhabitants who were awesome will be lost to its inevitable destruction, right along with all those horrid, ugly, disgusting things that caused it to fail in the first place.

I wake up everyday hoping that I am wrong, that I am just cynical and a bit too taken with the macabre. But until such time as I am proven wrong and convinced otherwise (by some impossible miracle) I will remain on my guard, diligently watching the Tea Table for signs of the massive upheaval that is building, waiting for the dimensional fabric to finally rip away, showing us to ourselves, revealing the beasts we have always been.

~There is no animal more threatening to itself and all other life than the Human animal.
-Ahsiam the Goddess

This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTownstorm-clouds-gathering-in-the-sky

GREETINGS…FROM THE EDGE OF THE LEDGE…

As I scooted to the Edge of the Ledge today, I noticed a peculiarly tangy scent in the air. I sniffed about up and down, turned to the left and then to the right. As I leaned even further out I caught sight of a conference cloud floating by. The marquee announced that there was a women only symposium being held on Sex. The next speaking theme was called “SEX: An Open Letter to Our Male Counterparts!” This appealed to me and seemed like it would be interesting to drop in on. So as the conference cloud floated directly beneath me, trailing its tangy sexy smell, I cannon balled down in a free-fall and landed in a cloudy heap right smack in the back of a gathering of beautiful women from every walk of life it seemed. I made myself comfortable there on the cloudy floor behind the audience and settled in to listen. Just then a gorgeous and statuesque lady walked to the podium. It was the world renowned scholar, philosopher and sex guru extraordinaire Ms. Fee Fee La’Bon, known for her raw delivery and no nonsense honesty! Wow, I knew I was in for an interesting treat indeed! As the conference cloud floated gently on and the sun shone beautifully down on the gathered assemblage, this is what I witnessed….

Ms. La’Bon clears her throat and looks around at all the ladies. She gives a wickedly sweet smile then bellows;
SEX!!!!

(Everyone flinched)

Yes, I want it just like everybody else does, but it has to be Right! Why should I compromise my worth to satisfy your paltry desires to fornicate, to have your way with my Sacred Femininity? Why? Why should I do that? Why should I make you a priority if I’m only going to be an option or an afterthought?

NO, I’m good, I’d rather just do me until that Real one shows up, my rhythmic match…& I’m not mad either, I just know my worth and I know that you don’t…it’s cool, no worries, do you boo, but please stop acting like your attention is all that, because really, it ain’t, isn’t, is Not!…

I know what it is, I’ve played the game before and I’m familiar with the board… So no need to pretend it’s something other than what we both know it really is… We don’t have to rush into a false and/or irrational commitment, I don’t wanna marry you, move in with you or run your life, but let’s be real on what we are getting into…

(Speaker La’Bon squares her shoulders and taps podium)

Listen, when you know damn well that I won’t be the only one you’re screwin’, then you better damn well know that your ass is gonna wear a condom! Period! And NO, you CANNOT just put the tip in either dumb ass!!

(Appreciative laughter from assemblage)

I’m really starting to see why some women make u guys pay for it…because often, what you give is rarely satisfying, nor does it last…So if u really expect me to give you my most Precious Commodity, the very Essence of my Life Force, just so you can toss it out over an overpass like a balled up bag of fast food remnants, then yes, you should F*ckin’ pay up!

(Shocked laughter, sprinkled generously throughout the crowd, coupled with mild gasping and sharp intakes of breath)

Yeah, I said it! Those few minutes of so-so sex & fleeting desire just aren’t enough when you are left feeling used and wondering if his ass will come back around for more than just the physical stuff…

(Collective nodding of heads and murmurs of assent from gathering)

We lie to ourselves and other people all the time to get what we want… I told my last lover, look, What I want is deeper and realer than what you can give buddy, so make it worth my while and leave me with more than a swollen Yonni and sweated out hair that wasn’t the result of multiple orgasms, but the work of your reeky sweat…

(Crowd Twitters with glee)

I told him straight up, No hun, all that “wetness” wasn’t from me, in fact, none of it was!! You are a chronic sex sweater, so just own that!

(Uproarious laughter from all in attendance as speaker smiles and nods)

Look guys, no thanks, I’m just not in the market for any ‘ShoddyShoddyBangBang’, ‘kay? I’ll just keep my Yummy Goodies to myself. Except for those times I wanna give my Pu**y a party, (gotta do that every now and then to keep out the cobwebs!)… Thank the Goddess for batteries and Hypo-allergenic silicone! Although they can’t replace the warmth and strength of a “real man”, at least they wont tell you lies and leave you questioning your own sanity and self worth…

And No, I don’t want your work check or expect you to waste money on wining and dining…I want the pressure to be off, that’s what I want, for both of us… let’s cut to the chase, we both know if it’s not lookin’ like love is in the cards then there’s not much left to do but get naked or…not. We can always walk away, that’s an option as well.

A lot of guys are going around touting that worn out, “let’s be friends” line. Okay cool, but realistically it’s just a precursor to the inevitable, SEX…And I luv SEX, it’s F*ckin’ Magical, but guess what? It’s also the most intimate thing you can do with another person, so you better make sure that the person you choose to get busy with is worth it! That’s imperative ladies!

Make ’em earn it one way or another ladies, tell them straight out what would make it worth your time. Just say it! ‘I want you to give me those things that I think are worth me laying with you and in return you will get what you want’…

There are fabulous bonuses for both parties here…Fair exchange is no robbery and it ain’t nobodies business other than the parties concerned…call it what u will, but I’m being real, it’s MY OWN P.O.V……I’m not preaching, just speaking from my base Chakra, Ha! But it’s raw honesty, the stuff that’s up underneath all the glittery, sugary bullsh*t we pile on top of it and call truth. The established “rules” are a fairytale chock full of false decency and misplaced morals.

Humor me my friends, I mean no harm or insult…

It’s just that sometimes my sensibilities get insulted when I’m approached with whack bulls*it masquerading as genuine interest…Please fellas, knock that sh*t off! If u KNOW U are not in a position to be fully present and available to build something, then keep it moving! Or at the very least be honest about your intentions and expectations!

Oh, you just wanna hit it, maybe a few times? OK, say that, then let me decide if I want to oblige you… Yea, we can communicate and share some sh*ts and giggles, but don’t expect more than you’re willing to give…
You might say, “Well F*ck u then, it’s plenty women out here”…Cool, then go chase their asses and get the F*ck outta my face and space!…I luv Men, but sometimes the f*ckery is just too much…

(Strong laughter, Amen’s and a few hallelujahs)

I strongly believe in the edict, DO AS YE WILL, BUT HARM NONE….’Nuff said right?…Yet it’s never so black and white is it? Damn, it’s hard being a Woman these days…Granted, trying to navigate around life’s sexual pitfalls and general disappointments can be tricky as hell for both sexes…But, as ladies, we must be diligent in owning our feminine sexuality and all that goes along with it. It is powerful and when you harness it’s strength, you will realize that it is so much more than just a physical power! It is emotional, it is metaphysical and it is Cosmic!!!

(Foot stomping applause and waving arms, a spattering of bottoms out of seats….Speaker looks around nodding in acknowledgment, waits for calm to resume)

*Sigh* I’m just ranting a lil bit y’all and I’ll be the first to admit that my views are a tad more than just unconventional and in some unfriendly circles they’re considered downright tawdry! (Crowd laughs) Yet, at the end of the day I am still a sensual and exotic creature with erotic imaginings and passions that run deep….Just a ball of conflicting desires, no set direction, just rolling…many of you can most likely relate.

(I could almost swear her eyes literally twinkled…)

But never again will I compromise my dignity for fleeting satisfaction… When I give myself it will be because I think he is worth it, not because he flattered me or told me a bunch of pretty lies…. My giving will be matched as a result of stating the truth from the get go, right out the gate, because who has time to dawdle with fallacy?

In closing, I only ask you to consider your worth and your desires. Then think on the energy you wish to expend utilizing your worth and fulfilling those desires…

(speaker looks slowly across the room, tilts her head to one side and says…)

The value of something is an individual concept, so what do you truly value and what will you give in exchange for it?

(Thundering applause and a full standing ovation from the audience, myself included)

~As Purple leaves and Golden glitter rained down I dashed out into the shimmery lobby and grabbed a handful of juicy ambrosia grapes that hung about in abundance…Mmmmm…
Now if I could just find a WindTaxi to take me back to my ledge so that I could sit quietly and ponder upon what I’d heard…

 

This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTown

dw by spraycan2

Greetings…From the Edge of the Ledge…

The Ledge is crumbly today as I lean cautiously over its Edge…As I peer out over the vastness, a lone sheet of writing paper flutters by and my achy need reaches out to it. Taking note of my need, it makes of itself a safety net and I leap,  free falling into the urge to write…

And so,

Back to the page I come dragging my anemic choices, lugging my woes, those weighty things, behind me….. I am beginning to view with greater interest, the familiar cycles my life seems to repeat again and ever again…The lowly lows and heady highs becoming as familiar to me as the squint in my right eye and the dropped arches in my feet…

But here it is again…

The same tired ass tirades…clicking in my ear driving me insane…it’s the stupidest sh*t in the world you see? All these things that bother, prick and poke at me…I pray fervently for her Lady of Grace to take me away from this pit of petty misery where Strife rules…lift me with her loving arms and replant me somewhere I can Worship Love freely and unhindered…If I must fight, I do not wish to fight with hate, but with Love…only it’s hard to see the Love through the fog of disenchantment, thus I know not where to aim…

Here we go again…

The Ogre standing in the doorway of my heart. Attempting to block all progress with weak declarations of indignation. I turn away and scream, “Get the f*ck out of my face and out of my existence with that sh*t!…I ain’t tryin’ to hear none of that!” But it’s Cool….let it sit over there and Burn…just let it Burn baby…Bathe in the Cool, just sink down into the Cool as you let it Burn…

Yes and again…

I come to this page to purge My quaking Soul…For even a Self Proclaimed Goddess Reincarnate must at times lay open her vulnerabilities and let the blockages roll through and out…Weary from my earthly battles I fly in through the window of my home on the Sea, lay down my battle gear and sink upon my Queenly divine…It’s a struggle….The earthly realm plagues my every step with a bent toward destruction and turmoil…

Yet I shall persevere…

I shall not allow the chaotic forces to rule me…I shall conquer them… I shall grab the Ruling-force of Chaos by its woolly head and hold fast with a Strong arm…This I will do in my time, after I have healed sufficiently from the wounds of War…But right now I must lay back on my assurances, I must Replenish and Rejuvenate my most Spectacular Self with the Blessings of all my Cosmic Guardian Protectors…I shall survive…As long as I believe in the Power of The Great All There Is…Love…I shall survive.

And then once more and again…

…It won’t’ be long now, I know her Lady would not leave me here to suffer alone…My time is nearing and I shall rise again…Beware the Great Phoenix, for she is Fierce in her Determination to Rise above those things that would deign to restrain her…

And on and on it goes…

I will continue to seek my reprieve, My Bliss, ever and on, chasing that “Never the same underwear twice” wench called Change. Beyond the edge of eternity to that place with no name, no description and no end. In this will I find nirvana, lose it, then find it again. Change.

This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTown

LoveIsChangeIsLove

Greetings…From the Edge of the Ledge…

Today, as I stepped a pace or two away from the edge, here on the ledge, I sat myself gently down and a question came to me. It was a question of Love, one that can be asked and answered in infinite ways. Here is where the question led me…

“A question of Love” huh?…

…It is oft forgotten, that love is everything. Everything!… Albeit the way it can show up can invariably leave one very much in doubt about this fact, because at times it wears ugly faces and hideous garments that are cringe worthy masterpieces of pain and abject misery. Oh bold Love, how it casually shrugs into the overcoat of the mundane, wrapping a scarf of possession and nonchalance about itself, then marches about, laughingly knocking over the pillars of who we thought we were. And we say, “This? This is LOVE?!” …Well, perhaps and maybe… It would behoove us to remember, that it is our perception of what love shows up as, which determines our feelings toward it. At any time we can change that. Following this change in perception with its accompanying action, can literally save our lives and keep us in the calm assurance that yes, love IS everything… and it’s all Good…Even when we have to drag ourselves away, bloodied and battered, left barely living, yet still somehow breathing, alive enough to heal and love another day…it is still Good.

Inevitably the question is asked,

“But how does one go about this, “perception changing” of Love with any true confidence, when appearances scream to the contrary??”….

And I would say to the inquiry,

…Why, by remembering that we are NOT our circumstances, they do not determine the worth of our spirit, nor can they measure the depth of our strength! Just because we don’t always feel our enormity does not mean it is not there….Sometimes an extreme shaking up is what is needed to birth us into letting go and free falling into our magnificence, that undeniable massive cradle of the all and all….Terrifying at times yes, yet a thin line it is between terror and exhilaration. Those dizzying near misses and brushes with the “Veil Between Worlds” can cause major panic and catatonic states of frozen stagnation. Yet again, even these are not US, we are Vastness and Freedom, Eternity and Light. We can Never NotBe. So we let go, albeit kicking and screaming, thru the fire we go. We cross over to more of who we really are. We glimpse and grasp at the truth that lies behind appearances.

It is Love, just doing what it does…

It’s not personal, it just appears that way…Observe this, then move on to Believe in Something Greater as you Bless the process. Even now, as you are Where you are, Bless it. It is Not you, just what you go thru. Attend to that which you can control, which is how you choose to feel about the situation or circumstance. Embrace it while turning your face to the Light. When you do, your vision will inevitably clear and you will see the Love in it, that was always there, that is everlasting no matter the outcome. LoveisEverythingisLove…

~Namaste

Reflections of,

The Quill Queen, by way of VinoTown

A Question of Love

Greetings… From the Edge of The Ledge

Dangling my legs over the Edge as I sit here on the Ledge, my mind wanders back to a time when nothing felt secure and life was anything but certain. A time when concrete felt more like quicksand and Joy was a shameless tease.
This is what I see as I zoom in on a moment…

“That” {Feeling}…

Here I am again, so sure I’m on the verge of Something! Convinced that My Life is about to Change. I just need to Recognize It when It comes and Hop on. I’ll have to hang on for dear life because It may buck about and not appear to be, what It is initially…But that’s okay, I’ll just clamp down, take the ride and do what comes naturally. I’ll keep my eyes peeled and my ankles locked in place as I continue to live and pursue this Esoteric knowledge in all its Blissful forms. And this I will do. No doubt. Sh*t, what do I really have to lose? Heard a rumor that God said I don’t have a damn thing to be fearful about. Even if I find it hard to shake loose the ass numbing stagnation that attempts from time to time to take over. Hope God is right, because it’s those times that are the hardest, and most frequent. But I vow to change this reality into some sh*t I can work with. I have to do this and Succeed because It’s the Realest thing I have on bad days.

Maybe I don’t see it all the time, or recognize it for what it is, this coming Change, but I know it’s real. I know somewhere down in the Deeps of Me, that Everything I ever Wanted or Dreamed about is Already Mine and has Already happened (In one dimension or another *wink*). I know I’m sitting here in this house on the corner of Pity Ave and Misery Street. But I choose to believe that I’m in a bungalow near a Uniquely Exotic and Lush Beach… I close my eyes and can feel the Cool Ocean Breeze bashfully Caressing my shoulders as it Dances through gauzy white curtains framing the deck to my back. The gentle tinkling of the porch chimes transports me to this other place, a place with a tangible hint of Delicious Mystery and Excitement about it. Where, if I but Desired a small or over the top Adventure, it was to be had with a mere turn of the corner…

That was over 10 years ago, and the crazy and miraculous thing is, it came true! I am living the Dream, minus a few Bells and Whistles… Yes, a few bumpy and calamitous years later it really has happened…

This Life I now live is what lay just over the Horizon, yet it was at once all around me as well. It has been in every step I’ve taken, every Breath I have breathed. This Delightful realization has Excited me, Quickened my Spirit. My spine is tingling…really, Tingling. And even now, my mouth literally Waters in Anticipation of what is yet to come. Frequently and at odd moments I am overcome with a Strong Desire to do many Yummy and Wondrous things all at once…

I want to write an Erotic romp. Witness the Birth of a new Star.
Play Hide and Seek in the Clouds with an Amour. Have a Long Cold drink of Clear Creek Water.
Fall Weightlessly through Space. Ride a Fleeing Horse through a Prairie at Sunset, just before a Storm.
Make Spoons with my “not so little anymore” Tee-tee, Smelling the Sweetness from Her Soft Hair.
I Wish to do All these things and more. Simultaneously. When that Feeling comes, I want to hold onto it Forever, never to Feel any other way…

Mmmmmm….Soul Satisfying…

Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll start Holding on to that feeling Today. Holding Tightly. Never fully releasing the Feeling, even when unhappiness forces itself into my life and sits down at my table. I will serve it the dredges of my nightmares, let it drink the bitterness of my tears. And I, I will simply sit down with it and make a meal of That Feeling.

~Because sometimes unhappiness will come and stay awhile, and one just has to deal. Hold onto the exaltation of Good Feelings; they will be as an ambrosia in the company of unhappiness~MN

This has been a Reflection of,
“The Quill Queen”
By way of VinoTownmonterey14

Greetings…From The Edge of the Ledge (I’m Wading Into the Fray! (Quasi Belated Blog Introduction and Disclaimer)

So, I posted my first blog yesterday and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I tried to convince myself it would be. I’d decided to post something I’d written a while back about my reluctance to write. What I didn’t explain was that I do love thinking of things that I want to put on paper (or on screen in this case?) the problem is I don’t particularly enjoy the actual act of pulling my thoughts out of my head, organizing them and then making them appear before me in hard copy. That is something I am yet in the process of overcoming, because clearly, if I never get these thoughts out they will just get lost in the dusty attic of my mind (I hope I don’t end up regretting not keeping them there!) So, I decided that if I was going to go forward with this whole blogging venture, then it would be best if I added a few disclaimers early on. I think this will help me later on down the line when I might need to refer someone back to them!

Disclaimer #1) I am well aware of a tendency to ramble erratically in my writing when I try to type and think at the same time. (I think better when I don’t have to tap keys…tapping echoes in my head and it’s annoying)…I tend to keep re-reading every few sentences after I write them and then I end up erasing them…gives me the ole “self inflicted censorship itch.” Just try to hang in there anyway, it can get quite interesting, I promise.

Disclaimer #2) I will Purposely spell things contrary to their “traditional” spelling…I may do this quite frequently, and if you are clever and can appreciate a sassy turn of word or phrase, then you will be in for a lovely experience…I will also do this because I am well aware of the traditional spelling of most words (98.9% of the time anyway), and how in fact to apply them accordingly…thus knowing, I feel vindicated in taking liberties as I please…I find this tendency not only amusing but refreshing…quite frankly, you just may as well.

Disclaimer #3) Although I will be giving my personal opinion on many topics, please keep in mind that it is just that, my opinion! I have no delusions that I am right or correct in my opinions, although more than likely I am (smile), at the very least my opinions will be genuine and based mostly on my idea of common sense. Feel free to beg to differ on any point or observation I may make, because when it’s all said and done, none of what ANY of us have to say will really matter 10, 20, or 30 years from now! (I also tend to be something of a “cusser” and I also capitalize words that are significant to me, so there’s that).

Disclaimer #4) In regards to my writing style, well, I don’t have one, I have several that just mesh together. My ramblings have no set description other than they’re interesting and or entertaining! I tend to take on various writing persona’s depending on my mood and frame of mind. I will often go from mildly amused to deeply annoyed in one blog and from graciously complementary to scathingly accusing in another. Not to worry, this is to be expected from one who is a bit more than marginally intelligent and rather scattered in her brilliance! (insert cheeky wink here!) Or perhaps it could be my lack of traditional writers “training” as it were, and my tendency to ignore the rules of writing in general. I’m here for the release and the fun of it, so please don’t be a prude and deny me this pleasure by pointing out my “style ” failings!

Basically, I intend to wax on in my own unique fashion about all manner of doings and happenings, (sometimes with a tinge of hysterical jubilation or perhaps even a somewhat furious indignation, so consider yourself warned!). I’ve wearied of having arguments and shocked discourses about current and not so current events with only myself! I have a need to “wade on in” like my title says and write it out, because if I don’t I just know I’ll end up being a drooly ole lady with bitter regrets about it (that’s assuming I make it to drooly ole lady status, hell, do I even want to???) anyway, that just scares me! Writing has been calling me and cajoling me and altogether ignoring and eluding me at the times I deign to pursue IT…But now, after all the ups, downs and ridiculous fuckery’s of life, I’m goin’ in! So, here we go!!!…Oops, I forgot my damn water wings!

 

~The Quill Queen
rainbow-wave-beach-colorful-ocean-rainbow-sky-trees-wave

Greetings…From the Edge of the Ledge

Breezy Day on the Ledge…I’m standing close to the edge and

 

I’m  remembering  a day in May about two years ago…

 

I remember thinking,

What is up with me and writing? You’d think I enjoyed it as much I brood on it… as much as it envelops me in its allure …but still I procrastinate and moan about it…Yes, something is definitely amiss here…I wish to figure out my true passion…does it even lie in writing as I claim that it does? What do I really have to say? I kinda feel like a part of my reluctance is due to the fact that I think nobody really gives a sh*t anymore what anybody else has to say, and everything has already been said, twice, so why f*ckin’ bother sayin’ anything at all? Why should my voice count among the tens of thousands ??? Why in the world would anything I have to say, ever matter to anyone at all!? I used to repeat that old sayin’ “You never know who you might inspire or whose life your words might change”…but I kinda don’t believe in that anymore…if I ever did…I find it difficult to muster up the wherewithal to say a f*ckin word most of the time….it’s all just so shitty and depressing….really, it is…But who am I trying to convince other than myself? Could it be the herb? That sweet, sweet giver of hedonistic nectar…Nah, prolly not ….but maybe it’s a contributor to my stagnation to some degree…but hell, I still don’t have the urge to write even when I’m not herbified…but whatever…somethings gonna jump off regardless whether I do or don’t… eventually, enertia will cease…I have no frikkin idea when, how, or in what manner that will transpire so, in the interim…

I’M GONNA NEED ME

TO HELP ME…

IT’S BAD…

BECAUSE …IT IS.

I Do Realize That I’m Hoarding What Little Writing I Have Done…It’s Pitiful Really Because More Than Half Of It Isn’t  Even Complete!! SO STUPID…Maybe If I Just Wrote For Myself…

 Well, how about if I…

Just wrote to get some stuff completed, or for no other reason than to clear up some of this stagnation….Stop foolin myself by writing other people’s sh*t that I have to damn near torture myself to finish in time…wit’ my “last damn minute ass”…ha, the nerve…shameful….

A digression: (Soaked n steeped n Wine n Weed…Is it any worse than a sugar fiend who doesn’t drink water?….I think both are detrimental to some extent, but more so the sugar fiend…because sugar rots which makes me think of decay which then makes me start thinking I smell pus n’ worminess in the air…not a good indicator of longevity, relationship wise…)

~Wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddddddd

Tttttttttttttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeentttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttssssssssssss~

Is there any way for me to reconcile my varying styles of writing? All those different voices in my head that have something to say…All of them bearing unique inflections and attitudes…They’re talkin’ to me but expect me to share their words.

The Old Guy in my head:

“How bout u juss stop the gawd damn whining! Huh?!! How bout that gurly???? How bout u just have a Fee Fy Flukkin’ blast with it and say whatever the flick flock ya wanna say, but  juss say it with flair!! And don’t use so many frik frakkin expletives!….Hmmmph!”

                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…Grasping at the Glimmer…sometimes it’s enuff.

…but most of the time it aint.

Reflections of,

The Quill Queen